Book Review: Santa Steps Out


In the movie Rise of the Guardians, folklore icon Jack Frost teams up with Santa, the Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy, and the Sandman in a battle against The Boogeyman. The Christmas-set novel Santa Steps Out is a lot like that, except not really and with shitloads more sex and violence and vulgarity.


Yes, that’s correct. It’s an erotic bizarro book about some of our favorite holiday and childhood figures, put forth to the world for seemingly no other reason than for pure hedonistic entertainment. Which is totally fine if you ask me.


Santa Steps Out is a wickedly dark fantasy tale about a nymph turned Tooth Fairy who attempts to seduce Santa Claus. Santa, while yearning to give in to his carnal desires, does attempt to hold on to his virtue and maintain the steady marriage he’s kept so far with Mrs. Claus, but fails over the passing years. Making matters worse are the intrusion of the Easter Bunny, a beautiful human woman who also falls for jolly old St. Nick, and the strange memories all these icons have of their lives before they ruled the holidays.

I’ll admit that the plot sounds confusing, and even a bit dumb, but trust me. The novel is not simply a low-brow waste of typed words. Past the many pages of laughable, blush-worthy erotica, there’s actually a fun story to be had!


I don’t know much about the Bizarro sub-genre of fiction, but I’ve heard others classify this book as such. But still, there are a ton more adjectives I could use to describe this book.

Odd, shameless, sexy, perverse, disturbing, humorous, fun, naughty, just to start.

Now, you may already be telling yourself that this isn’t up your alley, and you may be right, but keep an open mind. I bought this from a used bookstore, expecting it to be more on the horror side of fiction, and was surprised at how much I found myself enjoying the book for what it truly was – an over-the-top, sexually charged holiday story that will forever taint the way you look at Father Christmas.

(Bonus – As I was grabbing pictures of the book online, I found out there’s actually a few semi-sequels out there called Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes and Santa Claus Saves the World. I’ve read that they’re definitely not as hardcore as Santa Steps Out, but I still think I’ve found some new options for a holiday read!)santa-claus-saves-the-world-cover1santaconquers


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