Horror Hunks Who Should Have Lived

Men in horror have less of a shot at surviving than women do. It’s just a fact. Final Girls and heroines easily outnumber Final Guys and horror heroes, and half the time male horror victims don’t even get any chase scenes or gratuitous nudity!

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Below, I give you just a short list of the hunks I hated seeing sliced, diced, slashed, and stabbed, among other things. RIP hot dudes.

Mark – Friday the 13th Pt 2

I’m all for equal opportunity in horror films, even when it means death, but come on Jason. Considering you can walk faster than your victims can run…. obvious disadvantage here. Oh well, at least we got to see this horror hunk’s arms and charms before his trip down the stairs. Trivia: Played by a gay actor!

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Paxton – Hostel 1 & 2

Paxton is probably the only douchey-bro I’ve ever rooted for to live, because halfway through the movie I realized that he could’ve easily just ignored his missing friends and went home. He didn’t though, showing us some real courage, and by the end of the flick he’d made it into my personal list of greatest Final Guys. Sadly, he lost his head in the opening sequence of the sequel. 

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Eric & Dean – Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

How handsome were these two brothers? So handsome! One was a hunky All-American patriot, one was the cute sensitive type, both playful and caring boyfriends. I was sad when things got rough for them… but also kind of happy because it meant rope bondage…

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Barry – I Know What You Did Last Summer

Sure, Barry was kind of an asshole, but he had a soft side to him and you could tell he genuinely cared for his friends and old flame, Helen Shivers. Classic alpha male with a heart of gold.

Barry + Helen = 4EVER!

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Dan – A Nightmare on Elm Street 4 & 5

What a major league hunk! A horror hero through and through, but still no match for Freddy. Oh, and have you seen him in the NOES documentary Never Sleep Again? Yeah. Still a major league hunk.

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Curt – Cabin in the Woods

Curt started the film with the perfect balance of brains and brawn, smarts and muscle. Sadly, The Engineers pumped him full of chemicals and removed half of that equation. Well… at least it was the less visible half…

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And there we have it. Just a taste of the horror hunks we’ve lost over the many years. But not to worry. There are plenty still, and I plan on covering all of them! Hit me up with your suggestions in the comments, or shoot me and email, and of course, be on the look out for the next editions of Horror Hunks Who Should Have Lived!

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