Most horror fans know that any dumb blonde or morally “loose” gal is on the chopping block in any horror film, but too often we forget about the hunky jocks and cute nerds who often make up the male half of the body count. So, if you dare be spoiled, come lament with me some of our greatest loses of unlucky men.
Steven Orth – Scream: I know we didn’t get to see a lot of poor Steven, but you just know he was a prime slice of star quarterback, letter wearing, homecoming king All-American beef. Just a shame about his insides though.
Ron Grady – A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Tough guys with good hearts are precious gems. Like Grady, who one day kicked Jesse’s jock-strapped ass, but the next was harboring him in his bedroom overnight as he attempted to hide from a man trying to get inside him. What a pal!
Jack – An American Werewolf in London: This cute backpacker may have been ripped to shreds, but that wasn’t going to stop him from being a good friend to his newly wolfen buddy. And you know what? Even with all those raw gashes and his whole ghostly form deal… I’d probably still hit it.
James McKay – The Strangers: James was already having a pretty terrible night before The Strangers showed up and, well, completely ended it. What drove his beloved Kristen to rebuff his marriage proposal, I can’t say, but personally I don’t think I could’ve shot down such a stud that easily.
Paul – Honeymoon: Being a good husband was kind of Paul’s downfall, but hey. I’d wager that’s trait better to have than to not. Just a shame that this lean hunk got saddled with such a space cadet for a wife.
Jeff & Eric – The Ruins: Talk about the worst spring break ever. These college bros met their end to a sentient and carnivorous vine, but they were sure nice to look at in the meantime. A double “unf!” goes to Shawn Ashmore with scruff!
Sergeant Doyle – 28 Weeks Later: A death most unexpected, but a heroic one at least. Doyle did all he could to help survivors escape the second round of Rage infections, but ultimately gave everything. Rest in peace, hero hunk!
What a another big waste of grade-A man meat. And, as I said in the last list, I haven’t even begun to unearth the massive plots of fallen horror hunks. Of course, I’d love to hear your own suggestions. So comment or email and tell me, which horror hunk did you wish would have made it to final guy territory?