Horror DILFS!

Sure, I should be mostly recognizing June as Pride Month, but let’s not forget it’s also the month in which Father’s Day falls, and you know this boy loves a hot daddy!

Wait. What? That’s not what the holiday is about? Pft. Forget that. Around here it’s whatever I say it is. So help me celebrate Pride and honor Father’s Day at the same time by joining me in this showcase of hot horror daddies!

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John Coleman Orphan: Yes, Esther/Leena was fully off her rocker (and meds), but could you blame her for trying to get it in with her new daddy? Had she and I switched places, I don’t know if the movie would have been any different.

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Don ThompsonA Nightmare on Elm Street: Lt. Donald Thompson was Nancy’s self-sacrificing dad… and what a daddy at that! I’m all about a good looking guy in uniform, but the brawn he puts into battling Freddy definitely kicks him up to the ultimate “horror hero hunk” status.

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Tom WitzkyStir of Echoes: I’m a sucker for a guy in jeans and a black tee, and I swoon for a dad who still knows how to kick back with a beer and rock out. And personally, Stir of Echoes is where I think Kevin Bacon hit peak studliness. Unf to the max.

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Louis CreedPet Sematary: Dr. Creed had many things going for him. Brains, a good head of hair, a nice body… I’d normally scoff at moving to a house in the middle of nowhere next to a highway, but if he ever did ask me… Well, I’m not exactly available, but let’s still discuss.

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Bruno Hamel7 Days: Yup. Another hot doctor dad. A surgeon to be exact. Dr. Hamel gets extra points though because some of his revenge is done in a nice, tight white shirt.

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John CollingwoodThe Last House on the Left: You can handle another hot doctor dad, right? Good. Because Dr. Collingwood is one who’s smart, sexy, and unafraid of exacting primal revenge. What’s not to swoon over?

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Ben HarmonAmerican Horror Story-Murder House: Despite being a therapist, Ben had MOUNDS of personal problems and baggage. While that is an extreme turnoff, he was also EXTREMELY hot, proving my shallowness knows no bounds.

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Josh LambertInsidious: I couldn’t imagine living next door to Mr. Lambert. He’s hunky, handsome, and knows how to work a frightful, brooding face. I’d always be creepin! Although, after him and Tom from Stir of Echoes, I think I’d have had my fill of hot psychic men with creepy baggage.

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Rick GrimesThe Walking Dead: Reigning hot horror daddy, so bow down. Or kneel. Whatever is easier on you. Just keep an ear out for walkers. 

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Well horror fiends, hope this post got your loins a burnin’, because I have a feeling there’s tons more hunky horror daddies out there for me to objectify. That’s right. Another MMG series I plan to continue, along with Horror Hunks Who Should Have Lived and Kill Me Anytime! Suggestions welcomed!

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